The Communication and Meaning Relationship
The quality of the therapeutic relationship is central to helping and is considered the most important factor in therapeutic outcomes. In the book A New Introduction to Counselling and Psychotherapy [Chapter 8 & 9], I utilise Petruska Clarkson’s five modes of the relationship as a basis for evaluation against a Wholeness Experience Model (WICKET). Petruska Clarkson’s relational framework focuses on “similarities and differences between different [therapeutic] approaches” (Clarkson, 2003, p. 7), together forming “a coherent whole” (Clarkson, 2003, p. xxi).
The framework originally proposed five potentially constructive relationship types for therapeutic use. In addition I added a new mode called the “Communication and meaning relationship” (Ahmad, 2025). In practice, these can be viewed as each asking a question of the therapeutic relationship. The five modes, plus the additional sixth, are:
- Working alliance – Let’s talk and repair
- Communication and meaning relationship (Ahmad 2025) – Do we truly understand each other?
- Transferential and counter-transferential relationship – What personal and/or contextual barriers and facilitators exist?
- Reparative or developmentally needed relationship – What is needed to grow and repair?
- Person-to-person relationship – Are we genuinely connecting, and is the depth and scope appropriate?
- Transpersonal relationship – Is there a deeper shared meaning?
The approach taken to embed wholeness is to use the Whole Experience Model as an evaluative framework of experience to determine what might be missed. For example, the effects of worldviews, identities, contextual cultures, knowledge, embodied styles, and time (WICKET) are considered, with examples and layers included in each mode of the relationship. For example, if we look at the transference mode we can consider what societal transference exists associated with political (worldviews), religious (Worldviews), or national and ethnic conflicts (Identity and Context (Culture) and Time historic events) rather than neglect to address them as facilitator or barriers.
Out of this process, a new mode of the relationship emerged, which I discuss in this article.
The communication and meaning relationship: More than words
The “communication and meaning” relationship refers to an ongoing process of empathic linguistic attunement. It involves the therapist’s ability to understand, respect, adapt to, and accurately interpret a client’s meaning, including their unique language, dialect, processing style, and interaction patterns (Ahmad, 2026).
This relationship is not static. It is continuously shaped by moments of clarity, misunderstanding, curiosity, and repair. It becomes especially visible when communication breaks down, when language feels unfamiliar or jarring, or when meaning is not immediately accessible through words alone (Ahmad, 2025). Its layers and significance are described below.
Communication as a multi-layered process
Communication is not limited to spoken or signed language. It includes a wide range of verbal and non-verbal signals such as:
- Tone, rhythm, pitch, and tempo of speech
- Facial expressions and gestures
- Posture, movement, and proximity
- Cultural and situational cues
These elements work together to shape meaning. A person’s communication style is influenced by culture, identity, neurodiversity, lived experience, and social learning.
From a therapeutic perspective, non-verbal communication is not secondary. It often carries emotional truth more directly than words.
Carl Rogers emphasised that non-verbal communication is central to expressing genuine emotional experience. Psychodynamic approaches view non-verbal behaviour as part of unconscious communication, while cognitive behavioural approaches often focus more on cognitive and emotional content rather than embodied expression.
Non-verbal meaning and embodied communication
Some theorists have highlighted how meaning is often carried outside of language itself.
Garry Prouty introduced the idea of contact reflections, where therapists respond directly to a client’s non-verbal behaviours to build psychological contact, especially useful when verbal communication is limited or fragmented.
Even early caregiving relationships demonstrate this principle. Infants respond not to literal language but to tone, rhythm, facial expression, and presence. This shows that communication is fundamentally relational rather than purely linguistic.
Language, identity, and culture
Language is deeply tied to identity, emotion, and cultural belonging. It can shape how people think, feel, and even remember experiences.
Multilingual individuals may experience different emotional states depending on the language they are using. Some feel more emotionally connected or cognitively clear in one language compared to another. Language can also carry trauma, memory, and cultural identity in distinct ways.
Therapists are encouraged to create linguistically inclusive spaces where accents, dialects, and multilingual expression are not treated as barriers but as meaningful parts of identity.
Discrimination, masking, and communication strain
Communication is not neutral. It exists within systems of power, privilege, and cultural expectation.
People who are neurodivergent, deaf, speak English as an additional language, non-Anglophone language, or use non-dominant accents often experience pressure to adapt their communication style to fit dominant norms. This process is often described as:
- Masking
- Code-switching
- Communication switching
While sometimes necessary for social acceptance, it can lead to emotional exhaustion, identity strain, and loss of authenticity.
Therapeutically, this raises an important question. Are we supporting the client’s communication, or unconsciously expecting them to adjust to ours?
Bias in interpretation and therapeutic awareness
Therapists inevitably bring assumptions into the room based on language, accent, class, or communication style. These assumptions can shape early impressions of clients before meaningful contact is established.
Research such as that by Deborah Tannen highlights how communication styles differ across social and gender contexts, with some emphasising hierarchy and others emphasising relational connection.
Without awareness, therapists may misinterpret communication differences as psychological traits rather than contextual or cultural variation.
Normative vs differential communication
Communication behaviours such as silence, repetition, delayed responses, or lack of eye contact can carry multiple meanings depending on context.
For example:
- Silence may indicate reflection, discomfort, or cultural communication style
- Direct eye contact may signal engagement or grounding in distress
- Fast speech may reflect anxiety, culture, or neurodivergence
The key therapeutic task is not to assign fixed meaning, but to remain open to exploration.
Accessible and client-centred language
Accessible communication means adapting language so it can be understood and experienced safely by each client.
This includes:
- Avoiding unnecessary clinical jargon
- Checking how language is understood
- Using the client’s own words where possible
- Respecting silence, pacing, and processing differences
Therapists are encouraged to avoid therapist speak and instead prioritise clarity, collaboration, and responsiveness.
Communication bias and reflective practice
Bias can emerge even before the first session begins, through a client’s name, accent, or written communication style.
Organisations such as the British Psychological Society highlight how structural inequalities can influence access to psychological services and shape practitioner expectations.
Reflective practice helps therapists identify internal assumptions and remain open to the client’s lived reality rather than imposing interpretations shaped by social stereotypes.
Multilingual selves and therapeutic opportunity
For multilingual clients, language switching can open access to different emotional and autobiographical experiences. Speaking in a first language may connect clients more closely to memory, trauma, or cultural identity.
Language is therefore not just a tool for communication but a gateway into different aspects of selfhood.
Working with interpreters
In increasingly multilingual societies, therapists often work with interpreters. This requires careful attention to:
- Ethical boundaries and confidentiality
- Emotional safety for all participants
- Relational dynamics between client, therapist, and interpreter
- Cultural and linguistic nuance beyond literal translation
Professional standards are supported by organisations such as the National Register of Public Service Interpreters and the American Translators Association.
Interpreter mediated therapy is not simply translation. It is triadic communication requiring coordination, trust, and relational awareness.
Conclusion: Communication as relational meaning making
The communication and meaning relationship in therapy is not about perfect understanding. It is about ongoing attunement, curiosity, and willingness to revise assumptions. It is needed to focus and attune communications including recognition of differences in meaning due to factors such as language, masking, code switching, accent, multilingualism and so on.
Meaning is co created through language, silence, gesture, culture, and context. When therapists remain open to differences in communication style rather than interpreting them as deficits, they create space for more authentic, inclusive, and psychologically safe therapeutic relationships.
References
Ahmad, M. (2025). A new introduction to counselling and psychotherapy: Embedding context, diversity, and equity into practice. London: Routledge / Taylor & Francis. ISBN: 9781032805931
Clarkson, P. (2003). The therapeutic relationship (2nd ed.). London: Whurr / John Wiley & Sons. ISBN: 978-1861563811
The Wholeness Solution for Training, Curricula & Practice 